So Jeremy and I have now officially completed our pre-marital counseling, or as I fondly refer to it 'training class'. I know different synagogue's (and churches) do things differently, but ours has us go to this one on one program through Jewish Family and children Services. We were supposed to have six sessions with the therapist, and then they would evaluate if we were good to go, or if we needed more time.
So, to begin, we take this online evaluation. Now it was a long time ago, but as I recall, the questions read something like this:
Have you lived with your natural born parents?
Have you lived with adoptive parents?
Have you lived with family that is not your parents?
Have you lived with adoptive siblings?
Have you lived with natural born siblings?
Whole bunch of questions about your relationship with your family
Questions about your problem solving skills
Questions about money
And so on....
Well, needless to say, at meeting #1, the therapists (we actually had 2, one trainee and one real guy) were a bit confused that Jeremy had answered yes to each of the above questions. They, then assumed he would have some significant issues, and would be emotionally scarred etc... So, we spent the next two sessions showing them that he was about the most well adjusted kid out there. That, in fact, he was likely more well adjusted that kids from more typical situations. After that was over, we moved into money management, our strengths and weaknesses (apparently I am told that I have too many shoes and they need to be put away, not all over the place).
They were very helpful sessions, but by #4 we felt like we had nothing more to discuss. The therapist guy turned to us and said, well, you two seem like you've got it together, why don't we just stop here. SO...we graduated! And early! Oh yea, we're therapy superstars.
It was a very interesting program, I highly recommend it before anyone gets married. I'm sure the group ones are good too - but I think these individual sessions can be very valuable. Now I know...clean up my shoes. I also know, that I have a right to bitch, for 5 minutes a day. It needs a time limit, and it needs to be vocalized. But I can do it, if I want to!
So we're ready to get married, we graduated from couples therapy!