Tuesday, December 9, 2008

I hate green

The invitations came!....they are GREEN. Lime green. They are supposed to be ivory. Have I mentioned I hate green? I will leave out the details and my expletives, but needless to say, they will be replaced with lovely ivory invitations later this week. In time for my wonderful fiance to hand address them as he has requested to do. Can you sense the tension in my typing? But, I'm not going to stress or sweat it anymore, it will be fixed. It is not worth my worry. I hate green.

I had an awkward incident with a ham last week worth noting. A vendor at work called me and said, "You are a very valuable customer to us and we would like to send you a Christmas ham to your house, can you call me back with your address?" So I panicked. I am Jewish, therefore I don't celebrate Christmas and I don't eat ham. Second, I am about to fire this vendor, next week, and don't want him to spend the money on a ham - if I am about to can him. WHAT TO DO?! So I stressed, and I called Jeremy, and my mom, and my sister. A ham. What is a Jewish girl supposed to do with a ham on Christmas? So I decided to call him back and explain to him that I was dissatisfied with his service and give him the major hint that I was about to fire him. But, I do not have the next vendor lined up yet...so I couldn't fire him yet. Next, I was going to tell him not to send me the ham, or he wouldn't want to anymore after I gave the hint. However, this apparently did not deter him, and I got nervous, caved, and just spitted out "I LIVE AT 317 GROVELAND #706".

And the ham was on its way.

So I spent the weekend panicking about the poor pig that died to be sent to an unappreciative person like me. But alas, I have found a solution! We adopted a 'Christmas Family' at work - and beyond gifts, are also giving them a Christmas dinner. So....THEY ARE GETTING MY HAM!

So the pig didn't die in vain.


Robyn said...

See the vendor problem worked out well. Someone who needs a ham will get a nice one.

Just to be clear we aren't going to have green carnations as our bouquets? :)

The offer still stands for my helping stuffing and stamping and Jason's help addressing. Just tell us when and where.

Mel said...

Have you gotten a book deal yet for these?!?! Seriously hilarious!

Debra Fiterman said...

more interesting than mine, I say you have to blog for the time being to keep our friends entertained. :)

Debra Fiterman said...

(sorry....like half of my blog comment got erased for some reason ....what i was saying is that we can't BOTH be blog slackers. And since your life is more interesting than mine...)