Monday, March 9, 2009
Mel requested that I give a little primer on 'Jewish Wedding Etiquette'. Now, that was a nice way to say it, but it's more like, 'The strange ways Jewish people do things'. So here goes, some tips for Non-Jews attending our wedding (or Jews who have been living under a rock)
--Jewish weddings start on time, this is something I learned is not necessarily true for other religions, or maybe just other people.
--our synagogue is Reform, therefore it is not necessary to have your shoulders covered, but you will see many people who do choose to bring a sweater or wrap to cover their shoulders for modesty sake. I'm the bride and I'll be in strapless, so anything goes.
--The men will be given a kippah to wear - a head covering. If they feel uncomfortable wearing it, they don't have to, but it is encouraged. Now, my Auntie has lectured me for years about not trying on hats or wearing things that have gone on other people's heads. Never fear - these are brand new kippahs emblazoned with 'Jeremy and Kara's wedding' inside. Lice not included.
--The wedding will be inside as Minnesota Jewish weddings cannot be outside. This is not at all a religious thing, but rather, an agreement between the Minnesota Rabbis who don't want to potentially freeze their patooties off when some crazy bride decides to have a 'Winter Wonderland' wedding outside in January.
--It is customary to send a gift to the bride's parent's house rather than to bring it to the ceremony. This is not done for any religious reason, simply because Jews are practical people and don't want to schlep 17 crock pots and 5 toasters back to their houses.
--There will be a traditional Jewish dance done at the wedding called the Horah. It’s a pretty catchy tune, people grasp hands and dance in a big circle around the bride and groom. They are then lifted in chairs up and people dance around while they are in raised chairs. The bride and groom's parents are then lifted up on chairs while people dance around. At our wedding, this will be done after the meal. Why? Because when I get hungry, I get cranky. And nobody wants a cranky bride :-)
--Jewish weddings tend to be quite formal, but as far as attire don't stress. Ladies - black dressy cocktail dress, short is fine, but dressier than a sundress. Men - tux or dark suit are preferable. If they don't have one, sport coat and dark pants is fine.
--There will be no pork or shellfish - guess that limits the 'Bride and Groom's surprise' option! Though it would be quite a surprise if they brought our bacon wrapped shrimp....quite a bride and groom's surprise!
Hmmmm....Jewish friends and family...what did I miss???