Monday, March 23, 2009

Snuggies and dancing - a magical combination

We have had two major events in the wedding process.

#1. The first and second best wedding gifts have arrived. The first was Dannon Shiff's gift of matching snuggies. Now, you may know that I have a great affinity for the snuggie and its ad campaign and am thrilled to now be a member of the elite club of snuggie owners. The second best gift came from Wellington, my office. My very creative boss knew how excited I was to receive gift #1 as I was talking everyone's ears off about it at work on Friday. Therefore, she created gift #2 for me.

A SNUGGIE FOR PUNKY! Connie, my boss, thought Punky might feel left out if her mom and dad had snuggies but she did not - SO - she custom made a snuggie for punky - tail hole and all!!!!! Seriously, amazing! I am still laughing!

#2. Dance Lesson #2. I will recount as before:

Dance lesson is at 4:00pm
Kara at 3:00pm: Jeremy, I need to tell you something, I really don't want to go to dance class. Like, I really, really don't want to go. This is like the feeling of sitting in my mom's car crying because I didn't want to go to Hebrew School.
Jeremy: I DONT WANT TO GO EITHER. This is like the feeling of going to tennis lessons and sitting in my mom's car crying because I really didn't want to go.

We proceeded to spend the next 20 minutes whining about how we did not want to go, but had to. This first dance is absolutely the worst part about getting married.

We enter 'dance school' for the second time. This time, possibly more awkward than the first. There is a woman and a man who are on the dance floor, throwing each other around, twirling, and spinning like pros. I stare at my feet. Jeremy stares at the clock. Tick, tock, tick, tock.

The teacher approaches and says, well, should we go through what we learned last week? Jeremy looks at me, I look at Jeremy, we have blank stares on our face, as though the man has just recounted a story to us in Thai. What we learned last week? What we practiced? Uh.....yea, we don't remember what we learned and we did not practice once.

We proceed to re-learn what we were taught the class before, while accompanied by the dancing duo straight off of Dancing with the Stars next to us. They soon leave the 'dance floor' and sit down. Now, if you know me, and have read my blog, you know that I don't have the best attention span. These two, which I assumed were couple sit down on a sofa next to the dance floor (yes, there are strange sofas all around the room). The woman picks up a baby that had been sitting in a car seat and starts nursing her, right there. The man keeps talking to her, then stands up and leaves. Two other men enter and sit with her as she nurses her baby. When she is done, she hands the child to one man, who hands it to the other one, and they hold it for the remainder of the hour. I don't know who the father was, nor what the situation was, and frankly, to your average person it wouldn't matter at all, but it was all I could think about.

The teacher says: "Kara, were you listening? Do that turn now"
I proceed to walk in a circle. Jeremy and the teacher look at me with this look of, "where has your brain been for the last 5 minutes?, look". Clearly, while they were planning out turns, I was trying to figure out who was the baby daddy. I have no clue about turns.

That was about the class in short. Teacher tries talking to me, I'm making a mental list of the things I have left to do. Jeremy looks at the clock. Kara tries to lead while dancing. Jeremy looks at the clock and recounts that we have 37 minutes remaining. Kara almost falls on her butt. Jeremy starts laughing uncontrollably. Teacher stops us as he thinks that Jeremy made me cry. In reality, Jeremy made me laugh so hard I'm literally on the floor crying. Jeremy looks at the clock, 23 minutes remaining.

Dance class #2, check. Guaranteed: I will have another nervous breakdown before classes #3 and #4.


Soprano Linda said...

This is the most hilarious blog EVER!!!! (Even has Debra's SA blog beat!) Hope you don't stop once the wedding is over!!!

Robyn said...

That reminds me of one of my favorite Kara stories. My parents, Kara and I were in some random airport checking our bags. The four of us walked up to the check-in counter and checked our bags but only three of us walked away from the counter. We didn't get very far when we noticed she was missing. There she was listening on someone's conversation. We all three yelled her name several times before she finally heard us and walked towards us. We asked what was so interesting that she had to listen in. Kara said... "I have no idea it was in another language and I couldn't understand them."