Friday, June 26, 2009

Who needs therapy when you have tennis lessons?

Tennis Lesson #2:

We start warming up. Stephanie with her slow, methodical, predictable swing towards the ball. Julie (other tennis class mate) with her gentle practiced strokes. And then Kara, with her fast, erratic, wild thrashing at the ball.

Teacher to Kara: Patience, Kara, patience.

Kara: If I had a dollar for every time someone said those words to me.

Teacher to Kara: Calm, relax, take it easy.

Kara: Seriously, becoming a millionaire. The amount of times I have heard these phrases in my life.

And I start to have sudden flashbacks in the midst of tennis class....(picture this in a dream like state)
Setting: Kindergarten. All the kids in the class are sitting in their desks listening to the teacher read a book. Kara is wandering around in the back of the class room playing with whatever she can find. Running around, finding another toy, picking up crayons, then jumping up to the window because a stray cat is wandering by.
Kindergarten teacher to Kara: Calm, relax, take it easy Kara. (This later leads to my expulsion from the public school system. Okay, maybe not expulsion, but encouraged departure.)

Setting: Disney world. Line for the dumbo ride. There is always a line for the dumbo line. Kara does not do lines well. She is 3 years old. Screaming her brains out. Kara hates lines.
Dad to Kara: Patience, Kara, patience.

Now these are simply two examples of things which happen almost every day of my life. I have chosen my career based on my inability to sit still. I have chosen a spouse who also likes to run around (most of the time) like crazy. I still can't wait in a line without having a fit. I still can't sit in a desk without running around the room. I have decided to work with my abilities rather than focus on my challenges :-)

However, when taking tennis lessons, apparently this just won't work.

Tennis teacher seems to think he can cure me of my lack of patience and calm. If he can do this, there are many people in this world who would give him a medal of honor. Including but not limited to:
My mom
My Dad
My sister
My kindergarten teacher Mrs. Benson
Every teacher from then on
In particular Mr. Anderson
The staff at every restaurant I've ever visited and riped apart their napkins as I sat and waited for the food and the check (the two worst parts of every meal out)
The staff at Disney World
I will stop there...but the list could go on.

Nice try tennis teacher man, but I don't think you're going to win this battle. May you rally on in your efforts, and find me attempting to listen while wandering over to the court next to me to see what the people on the other courts are doing.

Long live impatience.

1 comment:

Scorpicon said...

You know, patience is a - ooh, look, shiny...