Thursday, July 9, 2009

Big news! We have adoped a child.

Well sort of. One was adopted for us.
Back Story: A few weeks ago we got a package in the mail from our wedding photographer. As a thank you gift for hiring him for our wedding, he adopted a child for us in Guatemala. Not like a real child to come home with us, more like the adopt a whale thing where you get a picture and the whale stays out in the ocean. This time we got a picture of baby maria and she stays back in Guatemala.

Enter Maria....

Now Jeremy and I got a bit of a chuckle out of this because we were asked to write letters and become pen pals with our new adopted child, however, she was 3 months old. Ha ha, we laughed, considered framing the photo of her, and moved on.

Fast forward to July 8, 2009. Cell phone rings while I am at work. RING RING
(that's for effect)
Kara: Hello?
Caller: Uh, is Mr. Jeremy Frank available?
Kara: Well, that's my husband, no he's not, can I help you.
Caller: Well I am calling on behalf of Maria...
Kara: (in my head....what? Has Jeremy been cheating on me? Is this his secret lover Maria's attorney?)
Caller: Maria, the child you have adopted...
Kara: (again in my head....WTF - Jeremy adopted a child? How many times have we discussed waiting 3 years. It has been 3 months. WTF)
Caller: after the uncomfortable silence which ensued after my long conversation in my head that she could not hear Maria, your child in Guatemala wanted to know why you had not yet written to her. Did you receive the information packet with self addressed envelopes?
Kara: All becoming clearer now Oh, uh yes, I did receive that packet, thank you for that. Uh, sorry, we've just been busy and hadn't gotten a chance to write to maria. THE THREE MONTH OLD.
Caller: G-d bless your souls for taking Maria into your lives. Heaven has sent you to her.
Kara: Uh, thanks.
Caller: I wanted to let you know that when you write to maria, she promises to write you back. Once you initiate contact, she will follow up.
Kara: Really?
Caller: Oh yes, Maria is really looking forward to hearing from your blessed soul.
Kara: duhhhhhh....
Caller: I also wanted to let you know about the other services we provide as a thank you for sponsoring a child.
Kara: Services?
Caller: Yes, we have an on staff prayer team ready to pray for anything you may need. Do you have anything you would like us to pray for right now?
Kara: (in my head) The ability not to laugh hysterically while on the phone right now. That would be my first prayer. Uh, no, nothing I can really think of right now. We're good.
Caller: Well we are always here for you if you need a prayer.
Kara: (and yes, I actually said this) Good to know.
(This conversation continued for about 10 more minutes where she told me about the "Organization" with a few g-d blesses here, and some heaven sent's there)
Caller: Well thank you for your time today, I wanted to let you know that g-d chose you for a reason to care for Maria. She is really looking forward to this relationship.
Kara: Uh yea, same here.

And yes, that's how it ended. Same here. Now it's not that I'm insensitive to the needs of those less fortunate, hardly, but I do think that this scam ball organization that is 'representing' Maria is a loony bin. Okay, so maybe I'm a bit critical. And what part of 'we are very jewish' was missed in the whole wedding? I thought it was pretty clear with the whole 2 rabbis and a cantor thing, the glass, the chairs...I dunno, maybe I'm wrong.

However, if you would like to see a photo of our new child, you can find it framed on our mantle. Please come visit. Perhaps we can have a letter writing session and send 3 month old Maria a note. I'm sure she will write back very soon.


Sara said...

Um.. doesn't that card say she was born in March 2008? As in 16 months ago? Clearly a 16 month old can read and write. You should write her just to see what kind of response you get.

Randee said...

OH MY GOSH! You are absolutely hiLARious!...
I am interested also what it is Maria wants to write back to you! It's great growing up and then having contact with cousins (and their lovely new brides)----so many things to learn!