Tuesday, August 11, 2009

The walk that should have been uneventful

In our final long-ish walk before the actual Breast Cancer 3-day (Aug 21-23) we set off to walk from our condos downtown, to Debra's parents house in Minnetonka. They wanted to be a part of the oh-so-fabulous idea we hatched early on to walk to friends/families houses. We left early and they were making us breakfast as we had to leave that afternoon for my sister's bachelorette party.

We walked. And walked. And thought how sick it was that this 11-12 mile walk was a cakewalk and seemed unnecessary compared to the long ones. We walked some more.

We arrived at the entrance of the Fiterman neighborhood development.

Debra states to Kara: "Pick a Direction, we can go left or right, they both take us to the same place, same distance."


Kara: "Lets go right"


Debra: "Okay"

Fatal mistake. Turning right meant that the beautiful paved sidewalk would soon end and we would find ourselves walking through the previous night's downpour on a road which had just been torn up to pour new drive lanes and curbs. We moved on to the curb and tried tight rope walking the curb as the street was muck, and the grass was no longer.

Soon, we find that the curb ends. Our options: #1 Walk through the 3 inches of water that sits in the street. #2 Walk on the mud on the side where grass should be.


Mud it is.

We walk, Debra in the lead. After a short while, I look ahead and notice my co-walker is going down. Fainting? Falling? Nope, sinking into the mud. Before I know it she is past her ankles in quicksand-like mud. As the fearless and loyal teammate that I am, I looked at her, screamed, and ran away. I didn't say I was stupid. I ran, as she lifted each leg with her arm, to pull herself out of the quicksand/mud.

Reference: image below

We laughed, and laughed. I laughed particularly hard as I stood, bone dry and perfectly clean. Hilarious. Because I'm not the filthy one!

And then, the critical mistake, she turns around.



And I once again start laughing. I turn to Debra and tell her that it looks as though she has just had a violent diarrhea, down her leg. She cranes her neck to see the remnants. And once again falls on the ground laughing. This time however, the long walk, significant water consumption, and lack of restrooms caused another fatal mistake. My teammate begins to pee. And then lets me know, she is currently wetting her pants. Yes, filthy, wet, and now wetting her pants. For an extensive period of time. Not just a little, but full blown peeing. Her boyfriend is a lucky man.

Sorry Debra, it just had to be told.

So now we continue walking. Kara - perfectly clean, looking forward to breakfast. Debra - a royal mess.

The walk that should have been uneventful, turned into the best one of all. I really wish she'd pee her pants more often, it certainly would make walking more exciting. Just a thought.

And when we arrived, 50% of us a giant mess, 50% of us sweaty but otherwise clean, there were some wonderful decorations awaiting our arrival:


Note the bra hanging from the flag:

A truly eventful walk.

3 comments:

Scorpicon said...

This really is the best worst walk story ever.

It still makes me giggle (sorry Debra).

Debra's mom said...

I heard the story first hand and it was even funnier when you put it into words. My daughter is truly a class act.........

Greta Hanson said...

Makes a person rethink a walk to their house....a class D's Nuts story.