Friday, September 25, 2009

Holidays

Nothing big to report, no iGallops this week, no trips to Costco, no human or canine injuries.

However, as I'm sure you can imagine, our household is all aflutter with concern regarding H1N1. And by household, I mean the two people and one canine which reside in #706. We have our masks. We have our first round of flu shots. Jeremy is calling periodically to his doctor to see when he can get his vaccination, he is high risk you know. Asthmatic. High Risk.

My sister's wedding is 3 weeks away. So that's exciting. I have nothing entertaining regarding that one.

Now, on to the activities which will consume this upcoming weekend. Yom Kippur. I remember once in Weight Watchers my leader said;


"Thin people know that hunger is not an emergency".


I often repeat this to myself when it has been over 3 hours since a meal and I am ready to eat my neighbor's fist. And then I start swearing at what a dumb saying this is. Hunger is an emergency. Huge one.

So in the spirit of the holidays, a poem...

It starts with the Rosh of the Hashana
We review the previous year and say ta-ta
Eat apples and honey
Everything looks sunny

Sermon's are long and we try to absorb
But we can't help but think, 'there can't be much more'
Hugs and kisses we share as we walk out the door
Later dinner is shared, and we have a Manischewitz pour

Ten days later Yom Kippur arrives
Just thinking about it, gives me a bit of the hives
We repent our sins, hope they are not great
Try not to complain, to our adjacent mate

Depriving Jews of our cherished food
True repentance, but puts me in quite a mood
Try to focus on the purpose of this fast
Don't just think about what you ate last

Sundown arrives early in my house
I'd be willing to eat that Cosi mouse
No emergency those thin people say
I tend to believe a different way

Happy Holidays to all...
And welcome to Fall...

Monday, September 21, 2009

Tour de Homes

This past weekend Jeremy, Steph and I decided to go on the parade of homes. We made a few stops, critiqued the homes, and made some astute observations as follows:

Steph: “At what point did we go from tagging along with our parents on the parade of homes and hating it, to deciding to attend on our own? All I remember is hating this thing, and now I choose to go”


Jeremy: “If I were gifted this 1.7 million house, I would also have to ask for the gift of redecoration”


Steph: In response to the whiskey bottles staged around and cigars placed on desks: “Why is it that they assume, people who buy $2 million homes also drink a lot? I thought people with no homes drank a lot. Apparently it goes both ways.”

And finally. We ended our tour de homes at the grand pubah. The 'dream home' located in Orono. And by Orono, I mean the farthest reaches of the farthest West potion of a far away suburb. The home was priced at $3,109,000 and featured an Olympic sized pool, theater, bar (clearly), refrigerator I couldn't seem to find because it was paneled like the cupboards, and then there was the main event...

The greatest feature of the home. This $3,109,000 home. Something I had never seen before, and frankly, hope to never see again. The igallop.

I kid you not. This device shown above sat along side a nordic trak within the home's fitness room. And I promise, I did not at all crawl on my hands and knees in the $3,109,000 home to figure out how to turn on the igallop, and I did not then climb on and test it out within one of the most expensive homes in Minnesota. Not at all. I would not do that.

I would like to explain the features of the product shown above, but I think this video demonstrates better than my words ever could:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWZKjtFUeco

Yes, the igallop. Maybe I'm totally behind the curve and everyone knows about the glories of the iGallop. Maybe I have missed the iGallop phase, but this blows the snuggie hoopla out of the water.

In conclusion, I have written the following letter to Parade of homes:


Dear Parade of Homes,

Thank you for allowing me to parade through your homes. They were lovely, albeit overpriced, but lovely. I do not plan to buy any of them, but I would like to share that the decor was quite atrocious in most of the homes. Since you asked and all.


Further, I would like to thank you for the comic interlude which culminated my experience of the 'Tour de Homes'. The iGallop. When building this $3.1 million home I bet you were thinking to yourselves, gee, every $3.1 million home needs a faux horse in which to ride. Faux horse indeed. No need to waste ones time with a treadmill when you have the iGallop.


Thank you for your time, and allowing me to do what I love most - peer into the lives of others. Particularly those who own iGallops. Next time, it would be way more fun if these homes were occupied, and they were more surprise visits with thousands of people - here to view their homes. I dunno, just a thought.


Thank you Parade of homes,


Kara Frank

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

This life, it's never boring

Last weekend Jeremy and I ventured to a place I had been many times, but which had been a mysterious secret to him. And he hates secrets. This place....the Fiterman's home in Florida. I know, so secret. However, Debra always said that boys were not allowed in Naples unless she had a boyfriend. Therefore, when the wonderful Alex Arbit came along, Jeremy secretly nicknamed him 'TTN', which stood for 'Ticket To Naples'. The time had come. She had the boyfriend. We had the time. Airfare was cheap. And we were off. TTN worked like a charm!





We spent 3 1/2 lovely days in pure relaxation mode. Stress came in the form of the flotation device rotation, and ensuring that everyone had their turn on the 'good floatie'. Pressure came in the form of deciding what to each for each meal of the day. Hard work consisted of transporting myself from chair to pool and vice versa. It was a very rough weekend.








By day 3 we decided that we had enough of the pressure, and we were going to make dinner at home. We simply could not go out anymore. Getting oneself together to leave the house was too much work. Walking, driving or calling a cab, all too much work. Stay home. So we did, and cooked the delicious dinner seen below:



Lamb Burgers (recipe learned in the Whole Foods class that also resulted in my personal amputation of my left thumb)

Parmesan Potatoes (My mom's signature dish which Jeremy is mildly obsessed with)

Green Beans

When asked if we went shopping in Naples, we all, unequivocally responded, "No, we did not have time". It was all we could do to fit in the floating, sleeping and eating. No time for anything else. However, Jeremy and I did take a trip to the Naples Dollar Store, Linda Fiterman's favorite locale. We scoped out some children's cheerleader costumes should anyone need one. And that was enough of the strenuous activity.

So thanks Alex. Jeremy appreciates your presence so he could visit the illusive Naples. You can stick around. :-)

In other news, I am writing this post from Dunn Brothers while I'm supposed to be studying for this big exam I have all week for work. However, I am blogging. Much more exciting. And while blogging, material just keeps rolling my way. While sitting here, pretending to study, and sipping my tea, in walked Michael Jackson. I tried to get a better picture but he kept moving. How rude. I knew he wasn't dead. MJ, in Minneapolis Dunn Brothers.





That's all I've got for today. My brain is fried. Blake's motto has always been to foster a love of learning. Apparently I failed. I have no love of learning. This week is not fun for me. 13 years of Blake did not accomplish their goal. I guess I am living up to the second motto: "Expecting great things of some, and good things of all". Oh Blake School. How kind.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Two, two, two posts in One!

First...a Punky Report:

Punky and I were riding in the elevator in the Groveland the other day when we noticed something curious on the wall (note the use of 'curious' who also happens to be Punk's special friend). We noticed the following:


In case you can't read my fantastic photo it says, "Further improvement requests from the Dog Committee". To which, Punky turned to me and said, 'Gee, Mom, I'd sure like to be a member of The Groveland dog committee'.

Maybe I should call the office and tell them Punky wants to join the 'Dog Committee'. See what Marge and Marty have to say.

Second, I was recently honored to be chosen by a fellow blogger as one of her favorite blogs of brilliance! Who knew our dance lesson mishaps and blow up toys gone wrong were brilliant, but I'll take it!

Now, Here are the rules:

A. Choose 7 blogs that I find brilliant in content or design.

B. Show the 7 winners’ names and links on your blog....

So, here are my 7 blogs of brilliance:

1. http://www.stylemepretty.com - I became obsessed with this during wedding planning, and cannot stop. I love it
2. http://nouveaupoor.com - Started by an old friend of mine from Blake
3. http://crankyfitness.com - I'm a sucker for anything health/fitness related
4. http://apartmenttherapy.com - Okay, so I'm a sucker for a lot of things. I also love anything home/decorating/cooking related.
5. http://ronisweigh.com/ - I have followed Roni for a long time, and love her journey
6. http://www.mattlogelin.com/ - Matt's wife went to Blake and he is a phenomenal writer. The only writer who actually makes me cry. Sad, but wonderful.
7. http://heavytable.com/ - Again, I like to eat. And workout. And decorate.

C. List at least 10 honest things about yourself.
1. I change my handwriting often. Whatever, its not that weird. I don't want to be detected by my hand writing! That's creepy!

2. I hate to wear things with food objects on them. (i.e. shirts with watermelons, pants with pineapples, etc... lets hope hamburger tee shirts don't become fashionable. I won't wear them.)

3. I refuse to measure laundry soap, even though its the only thing my mom does measure.

4. I have 2 open table accounts so I can make multiple reservations at once. OHHH, I'M A REBEL!

5. I eat fiber one cereal out of small white ramekins. I eat pudding out of small green ramekins. I case the 4 previous items were not proof, I have strange habits.

6) I bake when I'm stressed.

7) British accents annoy me. Sorry, don't hate me British people who read my blog. All 0 of you.

8) I don't like key chains. I went through the key chain phase of 2000, when I had like 10 key chains. And didn't even have keys yet. And now I have 0 key chains. I know, I'm a fascinating person. You know you want to keep reading the next 2 things.

9) Apple juice and Salmon give me headaches.

10) I got in my first car accident at the Chaska KFC. I called my parents and said I was at KFC with my friend Sarah, and they assumed the Wayzata one, and I didn't say differently. They said that if there was no damage I should drive away quickly. So I did. #1. I wasn't in Wayzata, I was in Chaska. We just thought it would be fun to go for a drive. #2. Sorry man who drove a big rusted truck in Chaska in 1999. I didn't notice any damage.

So there it is! 10 honest things! Since most of my friends don't blog...I think you should post your 10 honest things in the comment section. Or on Facebook. Please! I told you I don't wear clothes with food items on them. Now it's your turn!