Wednesday, March 3, 2010

So they say you should bake bread...

when you have a showing at your house. Makes it more homey or something like that. Ya know, that smell is supposed to evoke feelings of yesteryear or something, make you think this is really a place you can lay your nest. I don't know about you, but Beth Weinblatt didn't bake bread too often, unless it came out of a bread maker, and that phase didn't even last too long. But whatever.

At this point, I'll do anything.

And so I baked a bread. I googled, "Easiest possible bread recipe" and made that. It didn't sell the condo. It smelled pretty good, but didn't sell it.

Anyone else have any old wives tales or superstitions to recommend? We'll do anything. Or if you know someone who would like to buy a beautiful condo in an excellent building in Minneapolis, that would be much preferred.

As fun as it is to kneed bread for hours at time, I'd really just like to sell the place. From now on I'll stick to the break and bake cookies, my house growing up smelled like cookies much more often than bread.

Ya know, that's how we roll.

I haven't delighted you all with a poem lately, so here goes. You know you missed it!

Dear potential home buyers
I am quite ready for you to look at those fliers
The time to buy is now
Don't sit on your butt like a cow

Our condo is pretty, Our condo is nice
Our condo has never had any mice
Urban is cool
I'm sorry there is no pool

We have some pretty awesome neighbors
Living in Groveland means no more labor
Marty shovels
Marge cleans
Renee watches
The Chases observe

Please buy our condo, It would be very kind
I promise, it is quite a find


C Bott said...

Kara - Lunds has a bread that is pre-baked, so you bake it for about 10 minutes to finish it! this is a suggestion. Just start baking it when you have a showing and if you don't want to eat it, you can take the dog and hubby on a walk and feed the birds/squirrels in the park with it! :)

Kara Frank said...

Yea, but the whole rising process smells good, and the long baking process. It smells good, but regardless, is absolutely not worth it.

Katie said...

Not sure where you stand on this, but another wives tale is to bury St. Joseph (not sure how that works when you don't have land). My uncle did it (not Catholic) and it worked ;)

Who is St. Joseph?

In the Catholic Church, St. Joseph, a carpenter, is the Virgin Mary’s husband and foster father of Jesus. Known as a humble family man, he is the patron saint of home, family, and housing-related needs. The origin of St. Joseph’s reputation as the patron of real estate varies, but one of the more popular stories refers to an order of nuns in Europe who were in desperate need to find a convent. As the story goes, a medal, depicting St. Joseph was buried while asking the saint for divine intervention. The nuns quickly found a convent!

"The St. Joseph The WorkerHome Sales Kit"

Last year I paid $7.95 including shipping (this year it’s $8.95) for my St. Joseph. I placed my order with and paid by credit card; surprisingly, the little kit arrived within five days.

The demand for the Home Sales Kits is astonishing! If you search “St. Joseph Home Sales Kit” online, you will be shocked at the number of pages that come up listing the various vendors. My decisive factor was cost and shipping charges, and you’ll see the range from $1.95 per statues to about $29.99.

What’s in the Home Sales Kit?

~ A beautiful four-inch, polivinyl resin statue, and it's hand-painted (according to the packaging) in pretty colors.

~ Instructions for selling your home

~ St. Joseph prayer card (made in Italy) that’s beautifully illustrated.

“How to” Methods

Again, if you research the various Home Sales Kits, the methods of burying the statue vary. Here are some of the more popular options:

~ bury it upside-down next to the "For Sale" sign,

~ bury it three feet from the rear of the house

~ bury it next to the front door facing away from the home.

Religious experts say there's no official doctrine that calls for the statue's burial, and according to Jaime Lara, associate professor of Christian Art and Architecture at Yale Divinity School, the practice may have stemmed from medieval rites of land possession, in which conquerors claimed land by planting a cross or banner.

Faith and devotion are necessary, in addition to obtaining the saint’s statue; otherwise the practice amounts to little more than superstition or magic, according to Father Connell of the Boston Archdiocese. He also believes that out of respect, the statue should not be buried and instead it should be displayed somewhere around the house, placing it in a prominent spot.

After you sell your home

If you decided to bury your statue, custom dictates the statue should be dug up and put in a place of honor in the home. It’s imperative to mark the spot where you buried St. Joseph, and the first time I did it, I marked the burial location and finding St. Joseph was a cinch. The second time, however, I thought I knew where I buried him, but to my dismay, I could not find him!

Kara Frank said...

Well...we actually already buried a St. Joseph. He's on our patio!!!! And I seriously believe in him - after we buried him we got like 5 showings!

Liz said...

Found you through the "next blog" button.


MichalClark said...

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