Friday, June 11, 2010

Bathroom incident

A final Italy story for you, and then I will move on.

Day 8: Rome

Though Jeremy and I are both Jewish, we made the decision to visit the only Synagogue in Italy on a Saturday. Knowing full well that this is the Jewish holy day, and we would not be allowed to tour, we went anyways. Clearly we were not allowed in so we decided to eat. Because that's what you do in Italy, you eat.

We found a cafe next door and sat down and ordered lunch. I excused myself to the restroom which was in the lower level of the restaurant. I walked down, entered the bathroom, which was more of a tiny cell, and then locked it with an actual key, which was what they used to lock it.  I did what you do in restrooms, and then turned the key to exit the miniature stall.
Click, click
I turn the key backwards and forwards
Nothing. Turn it left, nothing. Turn it right, nothing. The door is stuck.
I panic. It is hot. I grab a wad of toilet paper and begin blotting my face. It's getting hotter.
I am still turning the knob. Nothing.
I am stuck in the basement bathroom of an restaurant in Italy. This is how I die, I assume. Clearly, that is the logical answer.
Time passes, I am still stuck.

And then I hear footsteps, so I begin to pound on the door. And then I shout.
"Help, I am stuck in the bathroom. I need help. Get me out of here"
The woman responds in very fast Italian.
"I don't speak Italian!" I scream
Again, she responds in very fast Italian words
This continues for quite some time until I scream..
"Do you speak Spanish? Can you tell me in Spanish? Can you find my husband? Mi esposo...find mi esposo"
By the time I finish this sentence I hear more rumblings outside my locked cell. More loud Italian, and then I hear it...
"Uh, that you? Are you....hahahha.....stuck in there?"

Apparently he was sitting at the table for quite some time, and when I did not return he became slightly concerned. And then he looked over and saw a restaurant employee carrying what appeared to be an Ax and came down to investigate. It was true, his beautiful bride was stuck in the potty. Locked away in an Italian bathroom.

Between bouts of histaric laughter by my husband and the restaurant employees, they manage to tell me how to get the key out to them and then they open the door from their side to free me from my cell. Dripping sweat and with toilet paper all over the place from blotting myself while in this fully enclosed bathroom cell, I step out.
Pride shattered. We return to our table for lunch.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

OH. MY. GOSH! That is too funny! That is something that would only happen to you! Hilarious!!! :o)