Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Uh...Merry Christmas

In my industry, it is common for my vendors to give holiday gifts. Typical gifts include candy, cookies, perhaps a gift card.

Yesterday, I recieved a box on my desk labeled, "Merry Christmas" and signed by a vendor I had never used. I was a little suspect, because it seemed strange to give me a gift, given I have never used them. It was a large box, big enough for a basketball to fit inside. I slowly opened the  box, wondering what could possibly be inside.

I slice through the tape and slowly open the box, like the winding of a jack in the box. I peel open a corner, look inside, and scream at the top of my lungs. Literally. Top of my lungs.

I thought I saw a head inside. I head or some other type of body part inside that box. A bloody head. Before I called CSI, I decided to open the box a bit more, and upon second look, realized that it was not a head, but instead a ham. Yes, a ham. Now this is the 3rd ham I have received this year, but this one was a bit more 'rustic' than the first two.

It had skin on it, and looked like a shriveled old head.

I promptly picked it up, thrilled that I was not mailed a head in a box, and gave it to a coworker.

"Here, this is not a head, but it looks like you want it?" I asked
"Uh....umm...sure I guess" she responded

It is so nice that people send gifts for the holidays, but perhaps they could send less graphic looking gifts. I will now be forwarding my psychiatric bill for therapy on to them.

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