Last night I went out with some girl friends to see a comedy show at the local JCC (Jewish Community Center). They were hosting this comedy show called, "Nice Jewish Girls Gone Bad" and we thought that sounded entertaining.
As good Jewish girls do, we carefully plotted out our dinner plans before the event, and feasted on copious amounts of Chinese food before the show.
We then drove to the JCC in the -45 degree weather and ran in to attempt to avoid immediate facial paralysis from the cold.
The show began with a woman dressed in a ridiculous ball gown doing stand up comedy. It was entertaining. She sang a song about Gefilte fish. Walked off stage. And then invited the next "Nice Jewish Girl Gone Bad" up on stage to do her shtick. The next girl does some mildly entertaining stand-up ....
and then comes the dancer. The Burlesque dancer. At the JCC.
Dressed as Mary Tyler Moore, this woman comes out performing the Mary Tyler Moore dance...and then strips. Yes strips. At the JCC. Did I mention we were at the Jewish Community Center?
Strips down to nipple stickers and a thong and dances around the stage. I could not make this up if I tried. At this point, I start thinking that perhaps the copious amounts Chinese food, and extreme cold have altered my brain into some paranormal state causing me to think that a woman is dancing naked on the stage at the JCC. But then I realize...nope, very real.
More comedy. The Hava Negila Go-Go dancers. More scantily clad ladies with very Jewish bodies. And then, another act with the Burlesque dancer.
As though the first one was not enough, she comes back and does another strip dance, but this time ends up with but nothing but boobie tassels and bacon.
No, I am not lying.
Boobie tassels and bacon.
Dancing on the stage.
At the JCC.
I look over at my friends. Rachel is laughing historically, I believe secretly thinking to herself that she could do this dance. Which she totally could. And then Debra, who is falling asleep, drooling on herself. Yes, proof that this girl can fall asleep during anything. Sleeping during the burlesque, bacon dancer.
I don't think the JCC will ever be the same for me again. Nor will a package of bacon. And boobie tassels, well I don't come in contact with those all that often.