You know when old ladies retire and they say they like to spend their days gardening? Well I typically have an image in my mind of them sitting in a pink metal chair, drinking tea, with gardening gloves and a hat, and looking at beautiful flowers.
Imagined until yesterday.
As I have mentioned ad-nauseum, we have no grass, landscaping, or semblance of a yard. We have had a landscaper working very hard to level out our yard, pull out dead plants, install an irrigation system and plant grass seed. Well now, it was our turn to plant plants and flowers in the beds he created.
Seems simple, right?
Until you go to the garden store. Everything has crazy Latin names. There are zones, and shade levels, and high sun, low sun, partial sun, partial shade, and things that made my head spin. So I did what I do best, asked for free advice.
I have a coworker who is a master gardener, and so I asked if she would help me design the plant beds. She told me everything down to the type and number of plants, and where to put each and every one.
Jeremy and I marched off to the garden store on Saturday to buy our supplies. We walk into the perennial area and Jeremy has a look on his face like he has just walked into the feminine products aisle at Target. Sheer panic and fear. He stops and says, "Let's find someone to help us and tell her what we need. She'll pick it out and put it in our cart."
"Uh, or we could walk through and find them and pick them out. We have a list of exactly what we need, and the quantity, I think we can handle this one." I respond.
Jeremy - Deer in the headlights.
Mission Impossible style, we search the garden store for about 45 minutes, and are successful in finding our supplies.
We leave, determined to plant our garden on Sunday. Yea, not so much. On Sunday a large tornado passed through our city. It narrowly missed our house, devastating the neighborhoods to the South and North of us. We cannot help but think how lucky we were to miss the storm by just a few blocks. If you feel as lucky as the Franks, and live in Minnesota, we encourage you to bring household necessities to the Kare 11 station today to be distributed to those who lost their homes. We will be going over there tonight to drop off donations, if you would like to do so, but cannot make it over there, feel free to drop things off at our house, and will bring them for you. Or I can even do the shopping for you. How's that for ease!?
Needless to say, we couldn't plant our lovely garden, so we were put on hold until last night. We went out there, dug, planted and fertilized. Really, I had no idea how hard it is to dig a hole! We are fortunate to live in a house with some very, very mature trees, and apparently the tree roots extend quite far. We found ourselves trying to contend with some massive roots. We also learned that when you buy garden shovels in the $1 aisle at Target, they are $1 garden shovels. And they work as such. Two and half hours later, we had planted one and a half beds at our house.
Top 10 gardening discoveries, made by the Franks:
1. We would be horrible day laborers
2. We feel old
3. Digging holes is hard
4. Dirt smells like awful BO
5. Worms are still disgusting at the age of 27 and 29
6. Frogs are still adorable at the age of 27 and 29
7. I have a great sense of respect for those old ladies who retire and garden. I will no longer picture you sitting back, drinking your iced tea. Rather, I will picture you digging in the BO smelling dirt.
8. There is no appropriate footwear for gardening.
9. Plants should have normal names like, tall pink flowering thingy.
10. We are not quitting our day jobs.
Let us know if you would like to join in our gardening fun. We still have one huge bed left. Especially if you are an excellent hole digger. We need one of those.
And please, if you can, donate to the Red Cross or bring supplies to Kare 11 today. The neighborhood that was hit, was one which cannot afford this type of loss. Please, support your neighbors.