Tuesday, June 21, 2011

We have turned a corner...

Today my wonderful husband turns the big 3-0!!!!  Old man. It's a big milestone, and that must be the corner that was turned (based on the title of this post). However, that is not the corner in question.

Several weeks ago I asked Jeremy to make a birthday list. He emailed the list to me and I read it. It has the typical 'Jeremy items'...
  • New briefcase
  • Personal training gift certificate
  • Gift Cards (Nordstrom, other men's stores, Home Depot)
Yes, that is the corner. Jeremy requested Home Depot gift cards for his birthday.
Yes, Jeremy Frank, requested Home Depot gift cards.
We have turned a corner.
I laughed for days.
Yes, days.
This is the guy who thought I was totally insane for considering painting one accent wall myself. He's now a regular handy man. Well, getting there. This is what home ownership does to you.

However, in our heart of hearts, we would still like one of these (photo taken of a ladder I was looking at)....
Yes, read this carefully.....

It is a ladder that comes equipped with a user. Jeremy may be the guy who now requests Home Depot gift cards, but we'd still much rather have a ladder that comes with a user included.

Do you think I could write a letter of complaint saying that the user has not showed up?
Dear Ladder company,
I bought this ladder that says it comes with a user, but nobody is here to change my light bulb. I'm very disappointed.
Yours Truly, 
Kara 

I might be waiting a while.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Who stole my deck?

Last week Jeremy was traveling to India all week for work. I was home alone. I am terrible at being alone. I required babysitters at age 16 because I hated to be alone. I still hate being alone. I am edgy. Everything is a threat when you are alone. Trees become creepy people. Rabbits in the yard become coyotes waiting to attack my dogs. It's bad.

Last Thursday night I had a meeting for an organization in which I volunteer. My boss also volunteers for this organization and is on this committee with me. After the meeting she mentioned that she hadn't seen our house since we finished construction. Knowing that I hate to be alone, and love visitors, I eagerly invited her to stop over after the meeting.

She came in, we walked around, I gave her a tour, and then gestured towards the deck, "This is the deck...it's very, uh, deck-like"
"Hmm..." She responds
"What happened to your deck?" She inquires
"What are you talking about??" I ask, in an annoyed voice.

And then, I look out the deck door to see the following:
Look in the distance. Yes, someone stole a section of my deck. Now I know that sounds crazy, but there is a section of my deck missing. My husband is in India. My father would most certainly not be repairing a deck (that isn't broken). The only logical conclusion was that vandals came during the day and stole one section of my deck.
So I stood there, with my boss looking on, quizzically, wondering what to do next. And by wondering, I mean running around screaming, like a chicken with my head cut off, ranting that someone had stolen my deck.

I called my Dad. He had been to our house that day, but had not stolen our deck.
I sent a text message to our builder, to ask if he had for some reason stolen our deck. Nope. He said he had not been there in months.
Finally, I sent a text message to our project manager for the builder to ask if she had maybe been to our house and stole our deck.
All the while screaming and ranting as though my house was under attack. 

Bingo. She had stopped over to perform a well inspection with the city. Failed to tell her boss. Failed to tell the Franks. Accidentally broke a section of the deck while removing it to inspect said well. Brought the section with her to match and replace. And thus caused Kara to have a heart attack.

Thankfully she responded quickly, or my next call was to the police. And I'm not sure how they would have reacted to a crazy lady calling and claiming that vandals had stolen 1 section of her deck.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Damn you Auto Correct

 Damn You Auto Correct  One of my favorite websites EVER.

And I just had one of my own moments. Jeremy Skype messaged me from the airport on the way home from his trip to India...
 
Jeremy Frank: Security here was crazy. Everyone got patted down
Jeremy Frank: They found my chopstick
Kara Frank: really?
Jeremy Frank: Searched my carry on
Kara Frank: chopstick?
Kara Frank: you brought one home?
Kara Frank: that was maybe the strangest thing you've ever said
Jeremy Frank: Chapstick
Kara Frank: ohhhhhhh
Kara Frank: hahahahha
Kara Frank: damn you autocorrect
Jeremy Frank: Regardless everyone still looks shady

Some Favorites from the site...



Wednesday, June 8, 2011

A Time Honored Tradition

Last night my parents came over to my house, and we performed a time honored family tradition. It's roots begin in young childhood, and are ingrained in the fabric of my family.

Cleaning out junk.

You thought I was going all serious, not so much.

Yes, I grew up in a family with a great distaste for excess. My parents have little to no knick-knacks. Their kitchen counters are sterile (except for one neat candy jar and a pad of paper). Their closets hold only the most critical and commonly worn clothing items. My parents have a huge, unfinished basement, with almost no items stored (except for those my sister and I have left behind). 

Generally, I am pretty good, and keep my house in a similar fashion, but there is one area which is not so good. My closet. I am terrible at getting rid of clothes. And so, my mom came over, we sat in the closet and went through every article of clothing to determine what needed to find a new home.

Item by item we critiqued its fit, condition, style and need.
We found that:
  • As it turns out, I don't really need a purple suede jacket that my mom bought for me mid-high school for the High Holidays services.
  • Shoes that give you blisters each time you wear them, regardless of their cuteness, don't have a place in one's closet.
  • When a cotton shirt gets those little white balls of fuzz on them (and you all know what I'm talking about), it is time for them to go away.
  • Vests are not in fashion anymore. Nor have they been for a very long time.
  • I am never allowed to buy another long sleeve, black shirt again. Ever. I had a friend in high school that once told me, "Don't buy anything that fulfills a category in your closet that you have already completed." For example, if you have one blue, 3/4 length sleeve shirt, don't buy another just because this one is slightly different due to it's stitching detail. It's the same darn shirt. Buy something different. If you go home, and everything looks the same - that's the reason. You keep fulfilling the same darn category. And I am the queen of this. 
Quite a productive little project. I highly recommend it. It's a great activity on one of those days where you hate everything in your closet. And if you need help, my mom and I are pretty good closet cleaner-outers.

I am critical, and she has no mercy for signs of wear.

Less is more people, less is more.

Friday, June 3, 2011

Life is laughing at me

Do you ever feel that way? Do you ever just feel like life is throwing some stuff your way to see how you react? Like the annoying little brother who keeps poking you and poking you, until you scream?  Yea, it's sort-of feeling that way right now.

Example:

As I mentioned previously, our house was hit by a pretty big storm about a month ago. The sky pelted these suckers...
at our house for about 20 minutes. It was a scary, messy, awful storm. On our beautiful new/old house. We did not see any visible signs of damage (except for the FILTHY house, since we have no grass yet, the hail hit the mud and splattered out house all over. Our once tan house was chocolate brown. Thus leading to weeks of washing the house). However, all of our neighbors had roof and/or siding damage, therefore we called our insurance company to come out and take a look.

In the 4 weeks that they made us wait, until an adjuster could grace us with his presence, we were hit by a second storm. This time, a tornado. Thankfully, the tornado missed our house, but we sustained extraordinarily high winds, and more hail.

So...insurance man was now coming out to look at 2 storms.

Yesterday was the day. Jeremy worked from home so he could be there with the insurance adjuster. The appointment was at 1:00pm.
1:10 - he is not there
1:20 - still not there
1:30 - now this is getting rude
1:40 - Jeremy calls me and we decide he should call our insurance company
He calls the company, and they place a call the the adjuster who is, in fact supposed to come out that day. They connect Jeremy with the adjuster, who informs Jeremy of the following:



The insurance adjuster stated that today,  he ended up in the ER with torn cartilage between all of his ribs.  (It is unclear how he did this, but it sounds like it happened on another inspection) After 6 vials of morphine, they just released him.  They instructed him not to work for 4 days, but he wants to look at our house sooner than that. (No thanks, torn rib guy, get your rest)  

For real? Life, stop laughing at me. It's not funny. Just fix my house peeps. Or maybe, there will be another storm and he will be surveying 3. 

Thursday, June 2, 2011

It's a problem

I am Jewish. Yes, that means a religion. But, it also means a culture, and a mentality. And at the core, is a need to feed. A need to feed others. 

I had a conversation today with a friend, Debra, about an upcoming event we are hosting. The conversation went something like this:
Kara: I think we should do the cupcakes and french macaroons for dessert
Debra: Yes, great. How many people?
Kara: It should be right around 30 people.
Debra: So for 30 people, do you think like 6 dozen? (72) or is that not enough?  Maybe 8 dozen? (96). Let me know what you think.  I will get a variety of the mini dessert options...

8 dozen desserts for 30 people. And the problem? I agree. I think we need a non-Jew to weigh in on this one.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Gardeners Extraordinaire

See a resemblence?

We're pretty awesome gardeners. We spent this past weekend shopping, planning, digging, chopping, and planting our landscaping at our house. It was a lot of work. I'm still sore. And there's still more to do. Note: we still do not have grass.

However, we made a remarkable difference in the look of our garden beds! Here are some after photos.


So now - it all needs to grow, live, and spread. And will be more and more lovely. But for now, we're pretty impressed with our mad gardening skills. And big thanks to my Mom, Aunt and Dad for also breaking their backs helping us with this project. If you have a fully landscaped house, please appreciate it. Please do not pull out beautiful plants. Please look at your grass and be thankful that you have it. It's not so fun when you don't.

And if you need expert gardeners, don't call us.