Wednesday, March 28, 2012

I'm old

It's official, I'm getting old. This is why. I really wanted to learn how to knit. That in itself makes me feel old. I envision myself sitting in my rocker yelling at Jeremy to change the channel on the TV while I knit, and mumble and grumble about the 'darn kids these days'.

Old.

Regardless. Last night, I took a beginning knitting class with a couple of coworkers. I was beyond nervous that they would be knitting savants and I would be left in the dust. Turns out, we were pretty equally matched in our lack of skills.

We walked into the knitting store for our class. Stared at one another, afraid to look or touch the foreign objects around. Needles of all shapes and sizes. Yarn from all over the world, in a rainbow of colors.

The child in me just wanted to go and touch and poke at everything, but adult-woman-with absolutely no knitting skills-in me said FREEZE. Don't move. It felt very similar to how I feel in the men's suit department. Like this is an absolutely foreign land.

We were welcomed to the store, and the three of us continued to freeze and stare at our feet, like the knitting needles might bite. I stepped forward and said, "Uh, we don't know what to do. Do we buy these things? (I said while pointing at the needles)"
Our eyes retreated back to our feet as she guided us over to the yarn. We were told to select one of two yarn varieties as they were "easier to work with". We understood that language and finally felt a bit more comfortable.

We searched, and hemmed and hawed over colors of yarn. Why? I'm not sure. We did not know what we were going to do with said yarn. However, after about 20 minutes of weighing the pros and cons of various yarn colors, we made our selections and moved on. We were handed needles and told that they were the easiest to use. DONE. Again, key word...easiest.

We walked like soldiers in line back to the classroom. Each one of us with a great fear for what was to come. You would have thought we were learning how to perform heart surgery. We quietly sat down, clutching our new bags of supplies. Afraid to open them, for fear we might do something wrong, and resumed our comfortable gaze at our feet.

The instructor walked in and must have sensed the tension in the room, you could have cut it with a knife. Our hands were shaky, our feet, tapping on the floor with nerves.

And yes....this was all just to learn how to knit.

But we did. We learned to knit. It may have taken 6 demonstrations of where to put your thumb, but we learned to knit. Very slowly. After 2 hours, I had knit about 6 rows. And was extraordinarily proud of the coaster I had just knit.

I may have taken up a geriatric hobby, but just you wait, next thing you know, I will be knitting these...

Monday, March 26, 2012

Happy #3!

Time flies. I started this blog after Jeremy and I got engaged because it seemed (to me) that there were all of these fun, crazy, exciting, and hopefully, at times, hilarious things happening. I felt like I needed to share them with the world. And honestly, I was working full time, planning a wedding without a planner, or really any assistance (I love my family, but they knew nothing about weddings at the time...now they're experts), raising a puppy, and trying to stay sane.

So, this blog seemed like a good way to share and vent.

I really did not think that 4 years later, I would still be blogging. I really did not think that 4 years later, anyone would be reading. But shockingly, you do! And, I'm grateful!

Last night, we had a little pre-anniversary dinner with my parents and Jer's 'family', Art and Penny. And Debra too.

As you may remember, last year was our 2nd anniversary. And my mom got this cake for us...
Yes, it says, Happy #2. No, she did not think that was gross until I opened up the cake and could not stop laughing. Then she found it hilarious.

So this year, approaching our 3rd anniversary, she made my very favorite cake for us (Betty Crocker Yellow Cake)! This year however, much less hilarious. You only get Happy #2 once in a lifetime.
Personally, I think Happy #3 is still pretty great. 

Three years (well 3 years as of April 4th), and still the best decision I've made thus far.

Friday, March 23, 2012

Target

I love Target. For many reasons. And if you live in Minnesota, you know that you just cannot wear the color combination red and khaki. It's a no-no. It's a particular no-no, if you plan to wear red and khaki, and then VISIT a Target store.

Or this might happen...

Last night, after literally, months of considering, weighing the pros and cons, and agonizing over the decision, I finally decided to buy an Amazon Kindle. Yes, it took me months to decide if I should make a $90 purchase. That's how I roll.

So we went to Target, all set to buy my Kindle. All electronics are housed under lock and key, so Jeremy found someone to assist us.
He walked up to a young girl wearing a red cardigan and khaki pants and said, "Uh, Could you help us with the Kindles over here?"  
She looked at him, perplexed, and said, "Uh, no, I don't know anything about Kindles."

Jeremy stomped back to me, complaining about the poor service he had just received. I took one look at her and realized the problem. This was just an uninformed Target guest, who did not understand the aforementioned rule. One must never wear red and khaki inside a Target store. Or, without a doubt, you will be asked questions about Kindles/Tide/Swimsuits/Easter decor.

But I still purchased my Kindle. And I love it. Very good $90 purchase. And even better, I have Amazon Prime, so I can 'borrow' books for FREE from the Amazon library! Another fabulous perk is the ability to ship for FREE from Amazon. I have gotten so used to Amazon Prime that when I need socks, I just order them online from Amazon. Shipped to my home for free. Brilliant service.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Fat Stanley

My son, Stanley Benjamin Frank, is overweight. Approaching obese. He is 19 pounds and should weigh 17. Now, that may not sound like a lot, but it means he was charged with losing 10% of his body weight. My little Muffin Man (as I affectionately call him) has too big of a muffin top.

We were told this tragic news about 6 months ago at the vet. At just 1 year old, Mr. Stanley was already overweight. His sister, the same breed, and the same mother, has always been slightly underweight.  But my little boy, he likes to eat.

And he's so darn cute. How can you not give him what he wants?!

And so...my aunt gives him frosting from her cake...
And, I give him rice (note the rice stuck all over his face, neck, ears and back)
And then he grew so large that when he sits on his sister in the car, as he always does, you can no longer find her under his gigantic body. And being the amazing sister that she is, she doesn't seem to care that her brother, who is twice her size, sits on top of her in the car. Note: the small tuft of white fur underneath all of the brown. That's Punky under there.
 So, we went on a doggy boot camp diet in our house. We switched their food to light food. And, we started taking on him on many more walks (the beautiful weather certainly helps).

And to our complete shock...he lost 1 pound! Woo hoo!! Way to go Muffin Man! Stanley Benjamin Frank is on his way to being a slim and trim pooch. Or at least a pooch with less of a pooch.

Friday, March 16, 2012

Exciting happenings.

Well at least for us. Really exciting. Edge of your seat kind of stuff.

Menard's (a local home improvement superstore) opened near our house.

I know, you're blown away by the excitement.

Menard's, the handyman's hardware store closed near our house just a few months before we moved into our house. They tore it down to build a new, 'fancy' store. We were devastated, as we had nowhere to purchase our picture hangers, hooks, hammers and random useful hardware. Sure, there is a Home Depot a few blocks in the other direction, but we don't like it there nearly as much.

This week...Menard's re-opened. You would think we were excited due to all of the handyman projects that we complete, but if you have read this blog before, you know that is a total fallacy. We like to pretend we can do things, and then we call in the professionals/friends to fix/finish the job.

So, we visited the new Menard's last night because
A. the place is huge and we had to see what was going on inside
and
B. I love grand openings. Of anything. Even hardware stores.

So we went. And were surprised, and secretly kind-of happy to find that while the store is shiny and new, they have replaced the old outdated signage, with new outdated signage. My personal favorite sign, located at the customer service desk:
"Please wait in line and the folks in customer service are punched in and ready to assist you"

There are a lot of things I loved about that sign.

We did a quick tour of the store. Mostly to see what other people were making/doing in their houses. At one point Jeremy asked me, "Do you think these other people here know how to fix things, or are they just pretending, like we are?". I responded, "Yea, I'm pretty sure they know how to fix things, we are the only ones here to look at the other people who know how to fix things".

It was a thrilling outing. We do lead such exciting lives.

Before we left, we walked through the ever important, toilet aisle, and came across this lovely commode.

Yes, it is a bidet and toilet in one, with musical accompaniment. We saw similar toilets when we were passing through the Tokyo airport, but did not see them making their way to Minnesota any time soon. Wrong. Here they are. At your local Menard's. Musical toilet/bidets. Better grab one fast, they're flying off the shelves.

Monday, March 12, 2012

I've been tagged

I normally hate chain letters. I saw this on Pinterest and thought it was hilarious and described perfectly my feeling towards them:
 However, I was 'tagged' by and old friend Jessi on her blog, and honestly, the project was pretty fun. Although I had to read the instructions like 4 times to figure out what exactly I was supposed to do. ADD. So, here goes.
First, 11 Random Things about Myself (this should be easy)
1. I am absolutely terrified of birds. I went with my niece to Petsmart this past weekend and we were looking at the birds, and I literally had to pull her away. Because I couldn't handle it.
2. I feel the opposite about cows. Black and white ones. I adore them. Always have. Since the age of about 3. I used to collect cow stuffed animals. They are amazingly adorable. From afar.

3. I have red hair. I used to dye it because I didn't like it. But, then I gave up because I am A. Cheap and B. impatient. Dying ones hair requires extensive amounts of patience because you are constantly in the salon for hours and hours getting your hair dyed, sitting under the most annoying dryer chair ever, and waiting. Dying ones hair also requires extensive amounts of money, and I found better ways to spend it. Or better yet, save it. So I gave up, because it violated my two fundamental rules: (1) Do not participate in activities that require waiting. (2) Do not spend money unnecessarily. So my hair is red.

4. I talk to my dogs like they are my children. Not in an annoying baby-talk way. But I have constant conversations with them. I ask them questions. I get frustrated when they don't reply. Full on conversations. I ask how their day went...

5. I actually work in the field in which I majored. 

6. I love to exercise. And that is not a lie. I do not love to run, but all other forms of exercise, I love. I still run, but I don't love it. But I do it. 

7. I spent an inordinate amount of time reading The Hunger Games this past weekend. I have 80 pages to go, and I am honestly thinking of taking a half day of work today so that I can finish the book. 

8. We have had so many animals in my family, most all with food related names, that it makes it really difficult to name a new animal. Most of the good names have been used. Marshmallow, Snickers, Mocha, Cocoa, Taffy, Honey, Tiger, Misty, Oreo, Truffles, Cookie (there are many more, but those are the food related ones).

9. I ate an entire gigantic piece of Lemon Meringue pie this past weekend. It didn't turn out well. My eyes were bigger than my stomach. This piece was enormous.
10. My two favorite places I have visited are: #1. Tuscany, Italy #2. Vancouver, Canada  #3. Sweden .  Yes, these are random places. Thus these are my 11 random facts.
11. My favorite cereal is and will always be...Lucky Charms. 
 

Questions from Jessi...

1. What fashion trend are you embarrassed you were a part of? CROCS. I was on vacation with my family when they first became popular. We were riding on a trolly tour, and I literally jumped off of the moving trolley when I saw them in a store. Left my entire family on the still moving trolley, and ran into a shoe store to try them on. They were pink. I thought I was pretty cool in my pink Crocs.
 2. 1 hour massage or mani/pedi? MASSAGE. I get mani/pedi's because I want my hands and feet to look nice, but I don't like them. They take a long time. I don't like waiting for the polish to dry. I don't like people touching my feet. Mostly the feet touching part. Hate that.
3. Copying Katie because I loved it so much - What is the best book you read in 2011? The Help
4. What quality about your mother/grandmother do you most admire? Ohh, this is a good one. There are many. I guess I would say their business savvy. I know that sounds strange, from a mother/grandmother, but both my Mom and Grandma are very business savvy. Some people would say that it showed me that women can be business people, have major roles in business. But honestly, I never knew any different. For me, I just assumed that all women were into the stock market, I assumed that all women were in control of the family finances, I assumed that all women had major roles in companies. I knew no different.
5. Favorite blog to read?  http://www.browneyedbaker.com/  - amazing recipes.
6. What is one thing you might just never be that great at? Running. I can do it. But I am NOT good at it.
7. Favorite work-out song? I like old songs that I can sing to in my head...Whitney Huston, Michael Jackson, things from my childhood.
8. What's your drink order at Starbucks? I'm boring...small dark roast coffee with a little skim milk.
9. Last thing you bought at Target? Cetaphil Face Lotion. It's the best.
10. First CD you ever owned? The Cranberries.
11. What would you tell your 16 year old self? If you hit a parked car in a parking lot, driving away quickly is not the appropriate action. woops!

Now for the fun: I tag the next 11 peeps!
1. Natalie - one of Jeremy's friends from MN who is wonderful, and about to have her first baby!
2. Kristin - Friend from college
3. Erica - Another college friend who has a great blog about her weight loss journey
4. Betsy - We went to high school together and though we don't keep in touch, she has a great blog with her amazing baked creations!
5.  Jenna - We used to live in the same condo building and she blogs about her family
6. Kate - Married to a college friend of mine...and has the most gorgeous, amazing blog ever.
7. Anna - Friend of a friend who just started a great blog
...okay...that's all I have. I hope my previous Pinterest quote does not come true. I only have 7 to re-pin. I read a lot of random design blogs whose authors I don't know. And I don't think they want to be tagged by me. Nor would they ever see this post. :-)

Ok... Then you've got these 11 questions to answer for us all!
1. Where is your favorite travel destination?
2. What do you call 'home'? Whatever that means to you...
3. Dog/Cat/Bird/Goldfish or none of the above...
4. Most embarrassing song/album in your collection...
5. Most ridiculous purchase you have made recently...
6. Top 3 qualities you like best about yourself...
7. What is a strange grocery store habit that you have?
8. What is your #1 favorite food?
9. What is your favorite book you have ever read?
10. Tell us about your favorite teacher...
11. If you had to be any zoo animal, what would it be, and why?

There are some rules:
1. Post these rules
2. You must post 11 random things about yourself
3. Answer the questions set for you in the post you were tagged in
4. Create 11 new questions for your tagees to answer
5. Tag them on your blog

Have fun!!

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Vogue


I went out to lunch with some lovely ladies from work today. I was wearing a scarf at lunch, and one of them turned to me and said,

"That is such a cute scarf, I love the texture of it. How does it do that?"

I looked down at myself, confused. Perplexed at what was so exciting about my bright pink scarf. And then I realized. This morning I was cold. I dug in our scarf bin and found this one on the very bottom.

It had been sitting there all winter. Crammed in as tight as possible and rolled in a ball.

And thus, extraordinarily wrinkled. And, instead of finding a different one, I said screw it, and put it on regardless.

After several moments of awkwardly staring at my scarf trying to figure out what she meant by, "texture", I said, "Oh!, this?" excitedly, "Those are wrinkles!"  

Wrinkles, they just add texture. I'm going to go with that from now on. It will save me a lot of ironing. 

Friday, March 2, 2012

Handyman

I married my husband for many reasons. He is hilarious, he is kind, he likes dogs, he likes my family, he puts up with me, he likes my friends, he puts up with me, he is an amazing friend to his friends, he puts up with me.

I did not marry him for his handyman skills.

Recently, we decided we were short on cabinet storage in our kitchen, so we had the cabinet maker who originally built our kitchen, make one additional pantry cabinet for us. They installed the new, lovely, enormous cabinet last week to my great joy. Who knew a person could be so happy about a cabinet!?

Yesterday, my amazing mom picked up the knobs for the new cabinet, and dropped them off so we could install them.  Jeremy arrived home from work and decided to install the knobs.

I was shocked, as he is not usually one to initiate fixing, installing or repairing anything, but I was not about to complain.

As I made dinner, he boasted, "I'm feeling pretty handy right now, ya know, installing these knobs. It's pretty easy."

"Great!" I replied, "When you're done, can you hang that picture in the corner?"

5 minutes pass and he is busy working on the knobs while I cook.

I turn over to look at him and find the following...
Knobs are much less useful when installed on the inside of the cabinet. Yes, the handyman had installed the knobs backwards.


I considered leaving the handle that way. For pure humor value. It's a good thing I didn't marry him for his handyman abilities.