Friday, October 19, 2012

Close Call

My blog is about honesty.

So here goes.

Yesterday I went to the doctor for my weekly visit to see how baby is progressing. I am fully effaced and 1 cm dilated. Which is not much, but it also doesn't mean anything because you can go from 1 cm to 10 cm in an hour.

She examined everything and informed us that often things happen after an exam (i.e. You progress further in the 'stages of labor' because they have jostled things around).

Last night, I was pretty uncomfortable after the exam, but it wasn't anything I couldn't handle. I arrived home after dinner with a couple of girlfriends, and told Jeremy about a big meeting that I had this morning. I was meeting with 3-4 big, important, wealthy, CEOs to tour a building that we are considering purchasing at work. Normally, this would not make me nervous. However, I was concerned because of the jostling that had just occurred by the doctor.

I just envisioned walking through this building, with 4 men in blue suits, all very important men, and then, in the middle of the tour...my water breaks.

Because that is how it would happen for me.

I tried to put it out of my mind.
And then I tried to get out of the tour.
I had nightmares about it all night.
I considered calling in sick to work due to lack of outfit choices, and complete panic over this tour and my potential labor-mid-tour.
And finally, I just went for it.
I pulled up and was waiting outside the building for everyone to arrive.

The first guy shows up in a brand new Lexus. All I can think is...I cannot ask for a ride to the hospital in this guy's gorgeous Lexus.
And then the next guy pulls up. And it gets worse. He pulls up in a LOTUS.
Like this.
Holy hell.
My water cannot break in a Lotus.
I cannot ride to the hospital in a Lotus.
I don't want my water to break in front of a guy who drives a Lotus.
Basically, I believed my world was ending.
So I quickly texted some girlfriends and informed them that I was about to encounter the worlds most uncomfortable situation.
I was absolutely certain that if there was anyone in the world whose water would break in some stranger's Lotus, that it would be me.

Lexus guy walks in the building. Lotus guy walks in the building. Other guys soon show up.
One of the guys who I knew commented, "You're still pregnant?"
And I responded, "Yes, I'm due in 1 week and I'm hoping my water doesn't break this morning in your Lotus (and I point to the Lotus owner)"

Really, Kara? You couldn't have just kept quiet?

The guys laugh awkwardly, and then start talking business. One of the guys walks over to me and explains that he is about to be a Grandpa for the first time in February. We bond. I am thankful for this guy.

We begin our tour through the building and I try my hardest to keep my mouth shut and not make further awkward comments about my impending labor. Try. Without success. Several awkward comments slip out.

The tour finishes in about 45 minutes and then everyone decides to convene in a conference room to talk.
We sit down in a conference room and I spend the next 30 minutes crossing my legs, talking to the Franklet in my head, telling her this is not the right time for her to arrive, and praying that she can just hold out for another hour.
I did not hear a word these guys said.
I was just praying.

The 30 longest minutes of my life pass, and we walk towards the door. Well, they all walk, I nearly sprint my 9 month pregnant ass towards the door.

They exchange pleasantries and  I literally run out the door. Racing towards my car, and away from Lotus and Lexus.

Water did not break. Labor did not start.
I have never been so happy in my life.

5 comments:

Sam Rosen said...

When they make a movie of your (and Jer's) life, I imagine this being a funny scene.

Lisa Rothstein said...

I had a similar experience when I was pregnant. I went over to a guy friend's new house and sat on his newly purchased couch and I remember panicking that my water was going to break all over it. Not exactly a Lotus, but would have been pretty terrible and embarrassing. I had actually thought about carrying a thick towel around with me just in case. My water didn't break until I was actually in the hospital though.

Mel said...

You make me laugh funny lady...hahaha!

Josh Schwingler said...

Did you sell the place!?!

Kara Frank said...

Ha - no we were looking to buy it