Monday, January 28, 2013

Back to work

This is my last week of maternity leave before I return to my job.

I like what I do.

I like my coworkers.

I like adult interaction.

To be perfectly honest, I didn't love most of my maternity leave.

Until now. For the first 6-8 weeks of my baby's life, she was kind of a jerk.

That may sound harsh, but I'm being real honest here. I could lie and say it was magical, and I loved every sleepless night, and every moment of horrendous boob pain. I could say that every diaper blowout was adorable, and each moment of rocking her back to sleep for hours and hours on end when she wouldn't stop screaming was precious. The reality is that there were amazing moments, and long, lonely days.  I don't like to be alone, and my husband had to work. So, I was home alone everyday caring for the Mollsers.

I am incredibly fortunate that I was able to be home with her for 12 weeks, but what kind of cruel joke is it that as soon as you're ready to return to work...they turn FUN???

I have been peed on, spit up on, screamed at, fussed at, slept on the floor of her nursery, slept in the chair in her nursery and prayed for hours that someday my child would smile and turn fun.

And she did, right before I have to return to work.

She smiles. She laughs. We can play with toys. My boobs don't hurt anymore. She is starting to respond to the dogs. She recognizes me. She recognizes Jeremy. She recognizes my parents. She sleeps well. She is the cutest, smartest, most amazing child that ever landed on this earth. (sorry to every other human that has ever been born)

And now I have to return to work.

All throughout my maternity leave people kept telling me to enjoy every minute and there were days when I found it really hard to do that. They clearly did not remember the first 10 weeks of their children's lives. They were remembering the weeks after that.

Those are the best weeks. Well, they're all amazing, but again...honesty....the weeks are way more fun now.

But, I'm a working mom. And I love what I do. And I enjoy working. And this may be taboo to say, but for me, I think I'm going to be a better mom when I work.

But I'm still really pissed that maternity leave is not the second three month's of your child's life.

So for now, I'm going to hold my baby tight, laugh with her, smile with her and sing with her.
Except that my singing makes her cry.
So maybe I won't sing.
She hates it when I sing.
No singing, just laughing and smiling and enjoying every last minute.

3 comments:

spectacularfairywren said...

mine still tells me 'no singing' - I am ok with that!

I get you - mine, I did NOT fall in love with immediately. I AM a better mum when I am not on call 24/7. My nanny is the best (she even cleans!) so it is win, win, win, win!
good luck.

Amie Swanson said...

That is quite unfair. Come back to work and you can tell all the funny, cute stories that you want. You can also tell that not so funny not so cute ones :)

Laura Hansen said...

Best of luck, Kara - soak up these last few days and guess what? You will still get to hang out with all the cuteness that is Mollie every day. You just will have more time to be you - and have less diaper changes!

Wishing you well this week!